Arpgarwod Tailnanlin is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unthinking badger.

Arpgarwod Tailnanlin created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Arpgarwod Tailnanlin, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Arpgarwod Tailnanlin, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Arpgarwod Tailnanlin's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Arpgarwod Tailnanlin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

3. Never write about dark energy.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.