Zigkonnullnakratzagmegflap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, capable scorpion.

Zigkonnullnakratzagmegflap created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigkonnullnakratzagmegflap, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zigkonnullnakratzagmegflap, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zigkonnullnakratzagmegflap's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Zigkonnullnakratzagmegflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chromosomes.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. You must pray to Zigkonnullnakratzagmegflap eight times a day.

4. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not take Zigkonnullnakratzagmegflap's name in vain.