Sadbestwod is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, bad-tempered pig.

Sadbestwod created Europe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sadbestwod, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sadbestwod, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Sadbestwod's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Sadbestwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into blue rooms.

2. Never hurt seals.

3. Never eat garlic.

4. Never feed beans to tortoises while wearing yellow scarves.

5. Do not shave your head.