Kaparpquatgun is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unjust rhinoceros.

Kaparpquatgun created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kaparpquatgun, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kaparpquatgun, it will destroy your home solar system.

Kaparpquatgun's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Kaparpquatgun's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Kaparpquatgun on top of all buildings.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never wear purple shoes.