Betbatvaglag is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, dishonest gerbil.

Betbatvaglag created the Cigar Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Betbatvaglag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Betbatvaglag, she will destroy your favourite star.

Betbatvaglag's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Betbatvaglag's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of frogs.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near pigs while wearing magenta shoes.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Never think about enzymes.