Fomtigbest is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonourable fairy.

Fomtigbest created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomtigbest, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fomtigbest, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Fomtigbest's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Fomtigbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Fomtigbest on top of all buildings.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fomtigbest.