Bettomman is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, temperamental horse.

Bettomman created silver twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bettomman, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bettomman, he will cry a lot.

Bettomman's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Bettomman's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not hurt otters.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Bettomman on top of all buildings.

4. Always obey Bettomman's priests.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.