Cumwapciss is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, awesome squid.

Cumwapciss created energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cumwapciss, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cumwapciss, it will turn you into a frog.

Cumwapciss' most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Cumwapciss' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Cumwapciss on top of all buildings.

2. Never sit near monkeys.

3. Always help sharks in need.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. You must never eat onions.