Zimjamyog is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, idiotic capybara.

Zimjamyog created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimjamyog, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zimjamyog, he will make you grow a tail.

Zimjamyog's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Zimjamyog's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Never paint your arms white.

5. Never think about nebulae.