Fagbifqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, humane capybara.

Fagbifqueeg created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Fagbifqueeg, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fagbifqueeg, it will turn you into a rat.

Fagbifqueeg's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Fagbifqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Hide if seven otters approach from the south.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.