Komfutfas is a god.

He takes the form of a small, competent tapir.

Komfutfas created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Komfutfas, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Komfutfas, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Komfutfas' most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Komfutfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Retreat if six porpoises approach from the north.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.