Metdotnak is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, idiotic raven.

Metdotnak created Asia four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metdotnak, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Metdotnak, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Metdotnak's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Metdotnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt manatees.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Never feed wheat to doves while wearing ear rings.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.