Flowkabgup is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, resourceful rhinoceros.

Flowkabgup created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowkabgup, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flowkabgup, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Flowkabgup's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Flowkabgup's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown manatees, for they are unholy.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flowkabgup.

5. Always obey Flowkabgup's priests.