Tamlintinyimham is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, uncaring meerkat.

Tamlintinyimham created water five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamlintinyimham, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tamlintinyimham, he will be mildly annoyed.

Tamlintinyimham's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tamlintinyimham's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat aubergines.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Do not stand on grass.