Bidtapdap is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, emotional alligator.

Bidtapdap created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bidtapdap, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bidtapdap, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bidtapdap's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Bidtapdap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Bidtapdap loves ducks, so they must be respected.

5. Never talk about special relativity near mites while wearing cyan hats.