Spagyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, happy human.

Spagyarl created a quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagyarl, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Spagyarl, she will curse you with boils.

Spagyarl's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Spagyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.