Xemlargcab is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, merciful slug.

Xemlargcab created the Cigar Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Xemlargcab, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xemlargcab, she will turn you into a rat.

Xemlargcab's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Xemlargcab's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Xemlargcab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never eat pineapples.