Nigquagortdimcuttomgad is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, conceited badger.

Nigquagortdimcuttomgad created the Virgo Supercluster six million years ago.

If you believe in Nigquagortdimcuttomgad, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nigquagortdimcuttomgad, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nigquagortdimcuttomgad's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Nigquagortdimcuttomgad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never eat grapes.