Cadarmqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, almighty lizard.

Cadarmqueeg created the Virgo Supercluster three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cadarmqueeg, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cadarmqueeg, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cadarmqueeg's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Cadarmqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never write about quantum gravity.

5. Never talk about fire.