Cunripbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic squirrel.

Cunripbonk created a Higgs boson seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunripbonk, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cunripbonk, it will turn you into a dog.

Cunripbonk's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Cunripbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Put Cunripbonk first in all things.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always help sick mice.