Satnulsadbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, almighty rat.

Satnulsadbaf created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satnulsadbaf, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Satnulsadbaf, he will be mildly annoyed.

Satnulsadbaf's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Satnulsadbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never paint your face black.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help frogs.