Xucmitbot is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, merciful seal.

Xucmitbot created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucmitbot, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xucmitbot, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Xucmitbot's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Xucmitbot's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.