Jopkabfag is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, stupid centipede.

Jopkabfag created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopkabfag, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jopkabfag, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Jopkabfag's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Jopkabfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick voles.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never sing in the presence of seals.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never eat spinach.