Zigyimpin is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, stupid frog.

Zigyimpin created the planet Saturn three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigyimpin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zigyimpin, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Zigyimpin's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Zigyimpin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near seals while wearing cyan trousers and balancing nine silicon spheres on your feet.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always pray immersed in water.