Xempomged is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, confident clam.

Xempomged created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xempomged, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Xempomged, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Xempomged's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Xempomged's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat geese with great respect.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.