Volwabcib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, loving duck.

Volwabcib created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Volwabcib, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Volwabcib, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Volwabcib's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Volwabcib's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Volwabcib in the centre of the settlement.

2. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Never paint your chest red.

5. Never play with disobedient children.