Targwabboss Ortstafingrulquagbasttap is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, vain camel.

Targwabboss Ortstafingrulquagbasttap created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Targwabboss Ortstafingrulquagbasttap, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Targwabboss Ortstafingrulquagbasttap, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Targwabboss Ortstafingrulquagbasttap's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Targwabboss Ortstafingrulquagbasttap's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your chest toward the north during prayer.

2. Never pray while filled with anger.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.

4. Never feed apples to tortoises while wearing shoes.

5. Do not fashion tools from copper.