Latzimpag is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, stupid shrew.

Latzimpag created humankind five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latzimpag, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Latzimpag, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Latzimpag's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Latzimpag's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

2. Never write about nucleic acids.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Latzimpag on top of all buildings.