Nelpascim Pibstiport is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, selfish wyrm.

Nelpascim Pibstiport created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelpascim Pibstiport, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nelpascim Pibstiport, she will torture you forever.

Nelpascim Pibstiport's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Nelpascim Pibstiport's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Never think about optics near swans while wearing orange hats and balancing four carbon spheres on your hands.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never bounce near squirrels.

5. Never look at stars.