Badfarntaf is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful pig.

Badfarntaf created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Badfarntaf, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Badfarntaf, he will turn you into a rat.

Badfarntaf's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Badfarntaf's Holy Commandments

1. Badfarntaf loves whales, so they must be respected.

2. Do not kill porpoises.

3. You must love Badfarntaf.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never paint your arms magenta.