Fumbarnfar Sadminmif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, temperamental whale.

Fumbarnfar Sadminmif created the cosmos three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumbarnfar Sadminmif, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fumbarnfar Sadminmif, he will torture you forever.

Fumbarnfar Sadminmif's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Fumbarnfar Sadminmif's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry nematodes.

2. Never talk about dark matter near mice while wearing pink corsets.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never sprint near manatees.

5. Do not listen to music.