Nurfidfem is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, narcissistic turtle.

Nurfidfem created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurfidfem, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nurfidfem, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Nurfidfem's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Nurfidfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight dolphins in a large pit.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never paint your head brown.

4. Worship no other gods but Nurfidfem.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.