Dumvenlog is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, selfish duck.

Dumvenlog created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumvenlog, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dumvenlog, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Dumvenlog's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Dumvenlog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare limes while wearing jumpers.

2. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never wear boots.

4. Hide if three bats approach from the north.

5. Never eat green fruit.