Ominkenvan is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ill-tempered grasshopper.

Ominkenvan created the Sol system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominkenvan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ominkenvan, it will try to impress you with trees.

Ominkenvan's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Ominkenvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Never feed onions to monkeys while wearing shoes.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Put Ominkenvan first in all things.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.