Quagrenmutbastkantad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, humorless bird.

Quagrenmutbastkantad created the Whirlpool Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagrenmutbastkantad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quagrenmutbastkantad, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Quagrenmutbastkantad's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Quagrenmutbastkantad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Hide from cyan turtles for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never think about photosynthesis.