Bif is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, overgenerous gnu.

Bif created the cosmos six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bif, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bif, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bif's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bif's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Bif in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never write about dark energy.

4. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

5. Bif must be the most important thing in your life.