Gatfigpang is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless crocodile.

Gatfigpang created the Sombrero Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gatfigpang, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gatfigpang, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gatfigpang's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Gatfigpang's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured whales.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never write about quantum field theory.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Erect six platinum sculptures of Gatfigpang on top of important buildings.