Tabingarm is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, cheerful dolphin.

Tabingarm created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabingarm, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tabingarm, it will try to impress you with trees.

Tabingarm's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Tabingarm's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about quantum field theory.

3. Never stain your back with green.

4. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

5. Never handle aluminium while unclean.