Armhatgon is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, prudent dryad.

Armhatgon created the planet Jupiter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Armhatgon, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Armhatgon, it will boil you in a big pot.

Armhatgon's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Armhatgon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat corn.

2. Run away from pink snakes, for they are unholy.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Erect three lead sculptures of Armhatgon on top of important buildings.

5. Never feed peanuts to pigs while wearing turquoise jumpers.