Fetmutxem is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, witty newt.

Fetmutxem created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetmutxem, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fetmutxem, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Fetmutxem's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Fetmutxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

2. Never speak at dusk.

3. Never approach mountains carrying wood.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.