Jipwotfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, narcissistic hyena.

Jipwotfeb created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jipwotfeb, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jipwotfeb, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jipwotfeb's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Jipwotfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

2. Never adorn your feet with green markings.

3. Never fashion tools from stone.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.