Dumgunrull Kabzigtig is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, merciful goose.

Dumgunrull Kabzigtig created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumgunrull Kabzigtig, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dumgunrull Kabzigtig, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Dumgunrull Kabzigtig's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Dumgunrull Kabzigtig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never paint your neck fawn.

3. Never leap in holy places.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dumgunrull Kabzigtig.

5. Never look at planets.