Karvanmumvonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, tiresome dragonfly.

Karvanmumvonk created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Karvanmumvonk, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Karvanmumvonk, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Karvanmumvonk's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Karvanmumvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Run away if five ants approach from the west.

3. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always pray immersed in water.