Zankimyim Meglegfum is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, thoughtless penguin.

Zankimyim Meglegfum created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zankimyim Meglegfum, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Zankimyim Meglegfum, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zankimyim Meglegfum's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Zankimyim Meglegfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Never feed lemons to horses while wearing scarves.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Always share grapes with strangers, but never with tortoises.

5. Never gather five snails in one place.