Bonzenfar is a god.

It takes the form of a small, narcissistic duck.

Bonzenfar created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonzenfar, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bonzenfar, it will jump up and down on your head.

Bonzenfar's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Bonzenfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

5. Run away from orange hamsters, for they are unholy.