Tailartvontap is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, tiresome yak.

Tailartvontap created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tailartvontap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tailartvontap, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tailartvontap's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Tailartvontap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. Hide from red aardvarks for they are unholy.

3. Do not kill bats.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never talk about eukaryotes.