Disscarwik is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, duplicitous rhinoceros.

Disscarwik created a charm quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Disscarwik, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Disscarwik, it will turn you into a dog.

Disscarwik's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Disscarwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls in need.

2. Never speak of balance in the presence of strangers.

3. Never proclaim while facing west.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near porpoises while wearing black coats and balancing three silicon spheres on your face.

5. Always wash your head before prayer.