Neglanfar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, bad-tempered newt.

Neglanfar created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Neglanfar, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Neglanfar, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Neglanfar's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Neglanfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Otters are not to be trusted.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity.

4. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

5. Never look in ponds.