Sitvedjapmum is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unsympathetic shark.

Sitvedjapmum created the Black Eye Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Sitvedjapmum, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sitvedjapmum, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Sitvedjapmum's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Sitvedjapmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.