Pon is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless lizard.

Pon created the planet Jupiter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pon, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pon, she will turn you into a hamster.

Pon's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Pon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. You must love Pon.

3. Put Pon first in all things.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never eat bark.