Littonkarn is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, astonishing eagle.

Littonkarn created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Littonkarn, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Littonkarn, he will turn you into a plant.

Littonkarn's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Littonkarn's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven nematodes approach from the south.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Littonkarn.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Littonkarn on top of all buildings.